Home Shopping

I'm all for shopping from home, in fact I'd go as far as to say the internet was the best thing to ever happen to the whole shopping experience. I get exactly what I want at a really good price and it's delivered to me in the comfort of my own home; bliss. I dont have to listen to the arse end of humanity scream at their kids to shut the fuck up, (by the way have you noticed its always chavs, skanks and pikeys who behave in this manner, probably as the kid is drawing the assistants attention to their shoplifting but thats another subject for another time), I dont have to dodge the buggy brigade, (see above and add out in gangs and all under 16), beggars and drunks can't harrass me, old people can't walk in to me and for many other reasons too numerous to list I LOVE HOME SHOPPING.
Now that we have established that this is what the internet was created for (well that and sharing information and porn; well, mainly porn), why when we have this brilliant tool at our disposal do people still insist on phoning me with their shopping lists and huffing when I can't get a department to pick the phone up. LISTEN YOU MORONS WHO DO THIS, THIS IS BECAUSE THEY ARE SERVING ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GOT OFF THEIR FAT LAZY ASS, LEFT THEIR HOUSE AND WENT SHOPPING. IF YOU WANT TO SHOP FROM HOME AND HAVE AN INSTANT RESPONSE USE THE DAMNED INTERNET AS IT MAY JUST STOP MY HEAD FROM EXPLODING IN SHEER FRUSTRATION AT YOUR STUPIDITY.
Ahhh that felt better.
Also why do people look something up on the internet and then naturally believe I stock it. There is only limited space available in a store and we can't stock every product ever invented and due to the fact that our overheads are higher that an online firms we can't sell as cheaply. The moral of this final part of my rant is the same as the rest of it, If you want that particular product at that really great price BUY IT ON THE DAMNED NET. If you want to browse/examine your product before purchasing GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND GO SHOPPING!

Spiders Customer of the Day

So it's a normal working day and as per usual I'm dealing with various levels of stupidity, from people abandoning their 5 year old in the childrens book department while they go off to shop, to the lady who thinks I'm personally responsible for the fact that her carrier bag from another shop has broken and wants to know what I'm going to do about it (by the way sweet f!!k all is what I did about the latter), however neither of these receive my coveted prize.

Before I tell this tale however I would like to categoricly state that I do not discriminate against disabled people it was just for sheer arrogance and presumption this gets a mention.
Its about mid day and I've finally sat down to eat something (oh by the way as I've not previously mentioned this I'm the manager of this particular store and I seem to be one of those managers in the minority who slog their guts out with their staff, I dont do offices so I tend to eat on the move most days, to sit and eat is a great treat), when a member of staff, who is incidently a fantastic worker, comes up, apologises to me for disturbing me and explains the following problem.

A lady has approached her and told her she is completely blind, she has no guide dog, no white stick, and no helper, she has been given a pen as a gift but it is leaking, it is not a pen my company has ever sold. This lady is demanding a replacement refill and that my member of staff personally cleans this pen for her. At this point a few questions pop into my head
1. if she is blind how did she find my shop
2.if she is blind why does she need a pen
I deal with this nicely even though she is a rude witch who keeps bringing up her disability as a reason why she should be given everything for free (she can kiss my arse), we sell her a new refill and clean her pen as best we can with cloths and water as we dont offer a pen cleaning service we are not set up for it.
This is not good enough and we are mistreating her as she is partially sighted, (notice where she was once blind now she can see, a genuine f!!!ing miracle performed right in front of me). She is going to complain to my head office and report me to the relevent authorities (Im not worried however as there are witnesess to the fact that I delt with this lady with nothing but politeness and respect).
I mean if you bought some new clothes from one clothing retailer would you take them back to another saying these clothes are dirty and I'm disabled so you must wash them for me and if you don't I will complain- because essentially that's what happened to me and that is why this wins my customer of the day award

I work for a very well known UK retailer who shall remain nameless and deal with different levels of stupid on a daily basis from my colleagues and customers. I have decided to share my experiences with the world and ask that the world shares its experiences with me so our suffering is never forgotten.
I believe that only by talking about the problem of abject stupidity can the condition ever be recognised and action taken to exterminate it from the population as a whole, if this seems cruel and unkind to you (and I'm not referring to people having what I know affectionately as a blonde moment- everyones entitled to have momentary lapses), I ask you what kind of person thinks it is rational and intelligent to walk in to a book shop and ask for a book when they don't know the title or the author and do not have a clue what its about, 'but it has a black cover' (please bear in mind people that there are thousands and thousands of books currently in publication with black covers and usually these dumb basteds usually cant tell me if its fiction or non fiction). When I explain to them that unfortunately I need more information due to the reasons stated above, I get accused of being stupid and looked at with disgust.
I will leave it to you to judge who is trying to work with stupid here and would welcome any stories from fellow sufferers out there